on wanting to want to have another child

did my birth trauma change the course of my life?

I turned 36 in February. My little girl is now three-and-a-half years old. It’s been on my mind a lot more in the past few months and I’m not really any closer to an answer. The question is: do we want to have a second child? I see the people around me having multiple children, a lot of times back to back with very small age gaps between siblings. I’m sure there are plenty of reasons to take that path. Some people must do pretty well with pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period (do these people really exist? I need to know more!) And a lot of us are having children later in life so having a smaller age gap makes sense. I’m sure some folx want to get all of those tough baby/toddler years done in one swoop. But I just haven't been able to bring myself to do this. I want to want to have another baby, but did my birth trauma change the course of my life?