end of summer glimmers

riffing off of my friend Ani of Close Knit's latest Substack

Today’s essay is free.

Perhaps in reaction to my last essay, but also in reflection of what has been going well this summer, I bring you today’s post. Absolutely inspired by my friend Ani of Close Knit’s Substack with a similar title. I can’t tell you how much I look forward to reading Ani’s writing when I’m notified that she’s published a new Substack. Highly recommend!

p.s. If anyone is interested in an update about my husband, here it is: all of the scary medical tests came back negative. We are so relieved, but still unnerved because we don’t know for certain what caused the accident. James continues to heal physically and emotionally.

Okay, onto late summer glimmers…

1. evening nature walks with James and J. This is a chance for us to turn the cartoons off and convene with our community. J carries around this vintage Liz Clairborn mini purse that I thrifted and picks up rocks, sticks and pine cones and hopes that literally anyone comes out of their house so we can talk to them. Like, anyone. I seriously can’t believe how bold and confident my little girl is.

2. my attempts to reduce my social media scrolling by doing literally anything else (lol) including listening to Grouper on repeat, sitting on the porch, reading, listening to audio books while doing house work, writing. etc. I’m not social media free, believe me, but I can tell the difference in my mental health when I engage more intentionally with the analog world.

1. flowers. just, like, I can’t get enough of flowers these days and it’s not that remarkable, but I really used to be underwhelmed by people’s love of cut flowers. Like I always liked them but couldn’t understand how people just LOVED them especially because they die fairly soon after acquiring them. Now I go to City Floral where they have a cut flower section and I put together my own chaotic bouquet of whatever speaks to me and it brings me a stupid amount of joy. Also been picking through our overgrown yard and clipping some yarrow and identifying what plants are back there and thriving despite our neglect.

2. When I come across little signs (they’re everywhere) of J’s childhood unfolding like these little collections from one of our nature walks and evidence of her inventions process. I also will never get tired of tiny shoes.

3. Winston sunning himself and just generally being a creature who knows how to honor his needs.

4. J slept at her grandparents a couple of weekends ago and James and I had an at home date just the two of us with pasta + bolognese sauce purchased fresh from the farmer’s market that morning.

   

5. J’s sink baths. We have a decently sized (like, large enough to fit a 35 lb toddler) kitchen sink and on the nights when I put her to bed we put all the dishes away, I scrub the sink clean and we do a sink bath. The other night we blasted Joni Mitchel and lit candles and I can do little chores while she splashes and plays.

6. The freaking Denver Botanic Gardens. What an absolute gem of a place which everyone in Denver knows, but so often I go there as an activity with J, but lately I’ve recently I stopped there by myself for a little nervous system deposit. Flowers. More flowers.

7. Attending my friend Caitlyn’s absolutely stunning bridal shower where we got to eat dinner together and then make floral arrangements from local flowers. So, yeah, more flowers.

8. Realizing my daughter is so totally her own person and that person is so unbelievable social, confident, and self assured. I think I sort of thought that I gave birth to myself initially and I was waiting to see/feel J’s anxiety (which still could come), but I watched J spontaneously jump into a game of tag with some neighborhood kids (some of who were much older) recently and I was floored.

9. Considered hiring a body positivity coach after months of this unhealthy cycle of being fine with my body and then hating my body, but then getting overwhelmed by the price of said coaching. So I have been on my own journey of body acceptance and intuitive eating by just inundating myself with podcasts/instagram accounts and audio books about health at every size. It’s totally been working. One resource that I’ve enjoyed a lot is the podcast Don’t Salt My Game.

Happy back to school time friends. I hope you find the glimmers.